I’m a widow of 5 years looking for a realistic sex toy. I’ve only got my libido back these past few months and it has increased a lot. Does anyone know of any good realistic looking willies?

This is something I think a lot when I watch like romance movies and shit and when people talk about how heartbroken they are or that they're lonely and need a relationship, it's kinda hard for me to understand tbh. I'm not hating on anyone that likes relationships, I just really don't get it. Part of the reason is how rarely relationships actually work out. Nearly every single person I know has been through multiple breakups in their lifetime. It's to the point where breakups are considered a rite of passage. I know that the whole point is that at some point you'll eventually find your person, but I don't know, I just don't really give a fuck if I find my person or not... I don't have a person.

My person is me, I enjoy being independent, I don't want anyone in my life telling me what I can or can't do, where to go, getting upset if I spend money, etc... and of course there are upsides, you're never lonely, you have someone to share things with, financial help, etc. I just don't really feel like the upsides are worth the risks of the many many downsides. It's not that I have no romantic attraction, I get attracted to people all the time, but I would never want to date them. I like the freedom to make my own decisions without having to consider someone else, for example, traveling. If I could afford to travel, I'd like the freedom of just saying "okay, I'm booking this plane ticket to San Francisco, I'm gonna chill and do the things I wanna do there" instead of feeling like I have to involve my partner, make the trip more expensive, and have to do their whole itinerary too.

I'm pretty extroverted too. I love partying, I chat with people in public literally all day long, I have an awesome friend group, but the idea of romance is just something that doesn't appeal to me. I was in a relationship once when I was like 15, it wasn't all that, we eventually just decided to mutually break up with no hard feelings, I wasn't even sad. I literally just didn't feel anything about it, it was just like, "Break up? Okay, see ya!" and I went on with my life.

I honestly feel like the majority of things I'd want in a relationship are things I get out of friendship. I'm not a romantic/lovey-dovey person, if I were to be in a relationship, I'd want it to be like no strings attached. We talk frequently but they don't live with me, we occasionally hang out and do cool stuff together, have each others backs, etc... and I have all of that with my best friends, so what do I really need romance for? Curious on people's thoughts though. I'm only 18, so I haven't had that much experience with the world yet, maybe my opinion will change in the far future... it probably wont though.

Some questions for discussion: Why do you seek romance so much? What is there about it that makes you so unhappy without it? Have you ever thought about trying to find comfortability in being single?

So, I was having a discussion today and the question was brought up… why aren’t you married (to me). I have been in a relationship with my partner for 15 years or so. I absolutely can’t see the point. I absolutely despise weddings, neither of us want children, and we both have well paying jobs. I am not religious. I also would never change my name. So why? All I can see is the possibility of acquiring debt (prob medical or likewise). Please I’d love to hear opinions.

**Side note: we are very happy this isn’t some kind of argument between us. I was talking to a 3rd party friend that happened to say, “oh wow, you guys aren’t married yet?” And that is what prompted this thought.

I’d like to ask for others’ opinions regarding my situation. I'm in a sexless marriage with my husband of 17 years. It's been sexless for almost 3 years and seems very unlikely to change. The sex wasn't that great even when it was still happening. I don't want to leave as I have a very comfortable life otherwise. We get along well enough outside the bedroom but I've been becoming increasingly frustrated with the lack of sex. Compounding the issue is that my libido is the highest it has been since I was in my 20s. I'm 46 now. I don't think about sex 24/7 but I think about it daily, usually several times a day. I fantasise about having extramarital sex with men who I find attractive. I sometimes give men the “eye” when I am out in public, and am flattered when they reciprocate. I fantasise about having passionate, lustful sex where we both are in a mad rush to rip each other’s clothes off. I have also found that the warm weather has enhanced my libido even further.

I wanted to ask if anyone here (I would like to hear from both women and men) has actually had extramarital sex and would be willing to share their experience. Did you regret it? It feels quite naughty to say, but the idea of an affair or even a one-off shag with someone else has become increasingly appealing to me. Not looking for any moralising about affairs or extramarital sex being wrong by the way, though I am sure some people will still try to do that anyway.

Recently the topic of body count came up with friends. Most of my friends, married said they were sub 10, I have one or two friends, who admitted they were in treble figures, married ones were honest with their partners, whereas us single ladies admitted we were lowering the number if a guy asked.

what are people’s true number and are you honest when/if a guy asks?

I would probably not be honest if a guy asked, as I don’t want that judgement.

Dh and I have been together 10 years so I feel like I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be with anyone else. I’ve always felt like sex between us hasn’t flowed naturally and there are a few reasons why.

He has ED issues which I know makes him feel embarrassed. He never told me about this, I found packets of Viagra in his prescription. He doesn’t like talking about it which I understand. This means sex has to be pre planned and while I’ve gotten used to this over the years and don’t really mind it, it does mean that it’s never spontaneous.

We do the same routine every single time. I enjoy it. We both reach the end goal so I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that but it is literally the same thing each time.

We only average 1-2 times a month when we get the house to ourselves. Again, my sex drive is not through the roof so this isn’t an issue as such but I still sometimes think it’d be nice to make more time for each other.

He is rubbish at communicating about sex and on the rare occasion I send a flirty text or try to talk about sex at all he clams up and doesn’t reply in any sort of reciprocal way.

I find it hard to talk to him and I’m not unhappy as such, it isn’t like the threads you read on here where couples have totally mismatched sex drives and one is very frustrated or on the verge of leaving over it. I think we are possibly both quite shy and neither dare introduce anything new, which is ridiculous after so long together. His attitude and lack of fun/communication around it puts a dampener on it for me, sometimes as if it’s just another chore for him to tick off the to do list.

I wonder if anyone has any tips on how things could maybe improve. We love each other a lot and I don’t want things to go stale(r) then they already are.

My partner and I have been living in our house for 4 years and through those years we've had many renters come and go from the adjoining house. Most of them were never at home but we have a new family who have moved in.

I'm always really self conscious after me and my partner have sex that our neighbours heard everything as we can hear them snoring through the walls and their bed seems to sit directly behind ours with the wall between.

I know it's probably inevitable that they would hear it at some stage but anytime I see them out with their child I feel so anxious that they are judging me for making noise.

Anyone else have these worries?
Any advice or words of wisdom.

My wife will not even consider the thought of me ejaculating in her mouth but has requested several times that I try my own off her breasts to gain an understanding of what irs like.

The idea isn't that appealing but it's got me thinking about double standards

Has anyone been in a similar situation and experimented ?

Do many women like idea of controlling how the male cums and when , I had a relationship where the women loved this and at one stage was in chastity , seams in my search it’s a very small market and not that many women like the idea ,,