Dh and I have been together 10 years so I feel like I’ve forgotten what it’s like to be with anyone else. I’ve always felt like sex between us hasn’t flowed naturally and there are a few reasons why.
He has ED issues which I know makes him feel embarrassed. He never told me about this, I found packets of Viagra in his prescription. He doesn’t like talking about it which I understand. This means sex has to be pre planned and while I’ve gotten used to this over the years and don’t really mind it, it does mean that it’s never spontaneous.
We do the same routine every single time. I enjoy it. We both reach the end goal so I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that but it is literally the same thing each time.
We only average 1-2 times a month when we get the house to ourselves. Again, my sex drive is not through the roof so this isn’t an issue as such but I still sometimes think it’d be nice to make more time for each other.
He is rubbish at communicating about sex and on the rare occasion I send a flirty text or try to talk about sex at all he clams up and doesn’t reply in any sort of reciprocal way.
I find it hard to talk to him and I’m not unhappy as such, it isn’t like the threads you read on here where couples have totally mismatched sex drives and one is very frustrated or on the verge of leaving over it. I think we are possibly both quite shy and neither dare introduce anything new, which is ridiculous after so long together. His attitude and lack of fun/communication around it puts a dampener on it for me, sometimes as if it’s just another chore for him to tick off the to do list.
I wonder if anyone has any tips on how things could maybe improve. We love each other a lot and I don’t want things to go stale(r) then they already are.
He has ED issues which I know makes him feel embarrassed. He never told me about this, I found packets of Viagra in his prescription. He doesn’t like talking about it which I understand. This means sex has to be pre planned and while I’ve gotten used to this over the years and don’t really mind it, it does mean that it’s never spontaneous.
We do the same routine every single time. I enjoy it. We both reach the end goal so I suppose there’s nothing wrong with that but it is literally the same thing each time.
We only average 1-2 times a month when we get the house to ourselves. Again, my sex drive is not through the roof so this isn’t an issue as such but I still sometimes think it’d be nice to make more time for each other.
He is rubbish at communicating about sex and on the rare occasion I send a flirty text or try to talk about sex at all he clams up and doesn’t reply in any sort of reciprocal way.
I find it hard to talk to him and I’m not unhappy as such, it isn’t like the threads you read on here where couples have totally mismatched sex drives and one is very frustrated or on the verge of leaving over it. I think we are possibly both quite shy and neither dare introduce anything new, which is ridiculous after so long together. His attitude and lack of fun/communication around it puts a dampener on it for me, sometimes as if it’s just another chore for him to tick off the to do list.
I wonder if anyone has any tips on how things could maybe improve. We love each other a lot and I don’t want things to go stale(r) then they already are.
2025-09-28
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What makes a good sex life?
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